House-isms
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season 7
- Moving On
- After Hours
- The Fix
- Changes
- Last Temptation
- The Dig
- Fall From Grace
- Out of the Chute
- Bombshells
- Recession Proof
- Two Stories
- You Must Remember This
- Family Practice
- Carrot or Stick
- Larger Than Life
- Small Sacrifices
- A Pox On Our House
- Office Politics
- Unplanned Parenthood
- Massage Therapy
- Unwritten
- Selfish
- Now What?
season 6
season 5
season 4
season 3
season 2
season 1
Season 7
He's brash, he's blunt, he's acerbic, he's...House. And, believe it or not, he does think before he speaks. Whether he's belittling his staff or explaining to patients precisely why they're so stupid, House is never at a loss for words, and we've selected the most outrageous quotes from each episode.
Moving On
Thirteen: "One man's crazy is another woman's art. Her work explores things like gender politics and self-image . . ."
House: "And the pressing issue of shaving your entire body in public while wearing a monkey mask."
"She's not nuts. She's elevated being full of crap to a genuine art form - and made a fortune doing it. The people who pay $20,000 for one of her video stills, on the other hand, really do need their dorsal nexii checked."
Cuddy: "Oh, thank God. The ICU isn't being attacked by giant radioactive spiders."
House: "Did I text you that? That was meant for my dream journal."
"I wanted to return your stuff. Don't worry, I didn't go AWOL. I had my wife/maid bring it over."
Cuddy: [looking at items in a box] "Sweater, coffee mug, half-used bottle of lotion, and a DVD of 'Marley & Me' . . ."
House: "Given your thing for Owen Wilson, I thought you might want those last two back ASAP."
Cuddy: "I don't get it."
House: "You masturbate to Owen Wilson."
Cuddy: "I meant the box."
"I'm a big believer that the best way to get past the past is to shoot it in the head, bury it in a deep pit, and pour lye on it."
Foreman: "How do we know she's even sick?"
House: "Her being sick is a clue."
Cuddy: "You stood me up."
House: "Sorry, should have scheduled my patient's internal bleeding for Thursday."
Chase: "You want us to waste a bed on her?"
House: "You took an oath! An oath to be cool. At least, that was the one I mumbled under my breath while everyone else was doing the boring one."
Wilson: "You're forging my name on prescriptions again."
House: "No. Because what you just said implies that I stopped at some point."
Hamidi: "Radiation? On my brain? But it made me fuzzy last time. It was harder to work. I'm still slowed down from it."
House: "And it'll get worse. You know, dying tends to do a number on your ability to think."
Latest Episodes
- AIRED
- SEASON / EPISODE
- EPISODE TITLE
- INFO
- EXPIRES
- 05/07/2012
- 8 / 20
- Post Mortem
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The team treats a fellow doctor wary of their skills.
The team treats a fellow doctor wary of their skills. - 11/20/2012
- 04/30/2012
- 8 / 19
- The C-Word
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The team treats a young girl with a genetic condition.
The team treats a young girl with a genetic condition. - 11/13/2012
- 04/23/2012
- 8 / 18
- Body and Soul
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The team analyzes the significance of dreams.
The team analyzes the significance of dreams. - 11/06/2012
- 04/16/2012
- 8 / 17
- We Need the Eggs
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The team dissects different relationships.
The team dissects different relationships. - 05/28/2012
- 04/09/2012
- 8 / 16
- Gut Check
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A hockey player's on-ice fighting takes a turn for the worse.
A hockey player's on-ice fighting takes a turn for the worse. - Tomorrow
Featured Extras
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FOX Lounge
Want all your favorite talent in one place? Swing by the FOX Lounge! »
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'House M.D. - Blue Meanie' for Nintendo DSiWare
Solve dozens of original puzzles and mini-games to uncover critical clues in this medical mystery game featuring the stars from House. »
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House PC Game
Play along with Dr. House and his team as they race to unravel medical mysteries. »
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InHouse App
Check out the InHouse app after all-new episodes of House for exclusive first looks and behind the scenes content. »







