House

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House-isms

Season 7

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He's brash, he's blunt, he's acerbic, he's...House. And, believe it or not, he does think before he speaks. Whether he's belittling his staff or explaining to patients precisely why they're so stupid, House is never at a loss for words, and we've selected the most outrageous quotes from each episode.

Moving On

Thirteen: "One man's crazy is another woman's art. Her work explores things like gender politics and self-image . . ."
House: "And the pressing issue of shaving your entire body in public while wearing a monkey mask."

"She's not nuts. She's elevated being full of crap to a genuine art form - and made a fortune doing it. The people who pay $20,000 for one of her video stills, on the other hand, really do need their dorsal nexii checked."

Cuddy: "Oh, thank God. The ICU isn't being attacked by giant radioactive spiders."
House: "Did I text you that? That was meant for my dream journal."

"I wanted to return your stuff. Don't worry, I didn't go AWOL. I had my wife/maid bring it over."

Cuddy: [looking at items in a box] "Sweater, coffee mug, half-used bottle of lotion, and a DVD of 'Marley & Me' . . ."
House: "Given your thing for Owen Wilson, I thought you might want those last two back ASAP."
Cuddy: "I don't get it."
House: "You masturbate to Owen Wilson."
Cuddy: "I meant the box."

"I'm a big believer that the best way to get past the past is to shoot it in the head, bury it in a deep pit, and pour lye on it."

Foreman: "How do we know she's even sick?"
House: "Her being sick is a clue."

Cuddy: "You stood me up."
House: "Sorry, should have scheduled my patient's internal bleeding for Thursday."

Chase: "You want us to waste a bed on her?"
House: "You took an oath! An oath to be cool. At least, that was the one I mumbled under my breath while everyone else was doing the boring one."

Wilson: "You're forging my name on prescriptions again."
House: "No. Because what you just said implies that I stopped at some point."

Hamidi: "Radiation? On my brain? But it made me fuzzy last time. It was harder to work. I'm still slowed down from it."
House: "And it'll get worse. You know, dying tends to do a number on your ability to think."

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